(originally posted on oregonlive.com Omama's section)
Facebook can make kids happier! Facebook is educational!
Yes, I said it. Now let me explain.
Thank you, Amy Wang, for an excellent blog post and bringing up the issue of kids on Facebook.
The comments and suggestions by Dr. Allan Cordova were right on target. I would like to share some of the positive aspects that I've found with my children using Facebook and other information I've found on this subject.
Social benefits
In the book "Happiness: Unlocking the Mysteries of Psychological Wealth" by Ed Diener and Robert Biswas-Diener (2008 Blackwell Publishing), there is a chapter titled "Happiness and Social Relationships: You Can't Do Without Them." They make a very good point about happiness and social relationships being a two-way street. And I love it that this book has scientific data to back up their assertions.
Facebook broadens our children's social circle in a way that wasn't quite possible before this technology. The two biggest aspects of this that I've noticed for my children are the ability to keep in touch with old friends and the opportunity to learn and practice their social skills.
My children tend to hang out with whomever they are on a sports team with at the time. They might meet a new friend whom they really connect with at a sports camp, but with distance and time constraints, it's not possible to keep that friendship going. Their friendships through the school years tend to grow and change, yet they still have those fond memories of "old friends."
When they run into an old friend, I see them become a little awkward, since they haven't seen or talked to the person in a long time. When I suggest having an old friend over to play, it's usually met with a comment about not having seen them for a long time and I can see the uncomfortable feelings come around at the thought of calling that friend on the phone. I am now seeing how Facebook is helping my 13-year-old to stay connected with his "old" friends and his "new."
Facebook can be especially good for shy kids -- any child -- to help build their social skills. I've seen the opportunity for learning and practicing social skills with my daughter. For her, those skills were first learned on MySpace when Facebook was not yet the mainstream.
Facebook creates a "less scary" scenario than talking on the phone or socializing in person. For example, the chat feature gives your child time to think when talking and expressing. Chatting is similar to a phone call, yet you have the time to pause and think about what you want to say. Phone calls can be awkward, with running out of things to say and dead air, and meeting in person can make you nervous for the same reasons.
Having some successful social interactions on Facebook could increase your child's confidence when socializing in person. It's a way to introduce new social skills in a gradual manner.
Developmental psychologist Jerome Kagan uses a good analogy in the article "How to Nurture a Shy Child," by Teri Keough. He states, "It's the same thing you would do if you were afraid of the ocean. First you put your toe in, then your foot, and so on. It's the elimination of an initial fear response - and it works."
Even if your child is not shy, aren't we all a little socially anxious at times? When a friend and I wrote a fiction book to help kids with social anxiety, the many people who said, "Aren't all kids socially anxious?" surprised me.
Although they may not have understood the true definition of social anxiety as a psychological disorder, they made a good point. All kids need the benefits of learning and using positive social skills.
I always thought in terms of our book being a "tool" in the arsenal of ideas to help shy kids feel confident. The book could help any child with her confidence, not just the shy ones.
I see that with Facebook, too. As adults, we benefit from having a wide social circle and many social connections. Facebook could offer that benefit to our kids.
Educational benefits
The educational aspects for Facebook are also amazing to me and I think they will only continue to grow. Teachers are creating challenging projects and collaborative learning opportunities for students. There are some wonderful examples in the article "Schools and Facebook: Moving Too Fast, or Not Fast Enough?" by Matt Levinson in Teachers.Net Gazette.
In Levinson's article, he writes, "One talented teacher cooked up an entire 20th-century China project on Facebook. Students adopted the personalities of Sun Yat-sen, Mao Zedong and Chiang Kai-shek and created and updated Facebook pages and profiles, replete with photos and wall postings. In the words of the teacher: 'This project changed the classroom. Students were so motivated and put far more hours into their research than they would have done with a traditional project.' "
My favorite paragraph of Cordova's advice in Wang's blog post was regarding a parent's concern. Wang wrote, "Once a parent knows what's bothering her, she can try to resolve those concerns while -- and Cordova stresses the importance of this -- 'still conveying respect for (the child's) desire and need to maintain social currency with her peer group.' "
Cordova makes an excellent point about Facebook being a social currency. It's the wave of the future and social currency for our kids.
It's important to note that our kids WANT to participate in this new technology. I like Cordova's point about conveying respect for the child's desire. I've seen with my kids that whenever I've shown them regard and consideration for something they are interested in, it seems to boost their morale in a way like nothing else.
I see so many wonderful opportunities on Facebook for children. It's like any new technology; we sometimes fear the unknown. And we also magnify the bad so that the good and wonderful ends up skewed and warped.
Sure, there will be abuses of the system. Aren't there always? You can find bullying and safety issues anywhere. We can work to eliminate bullying and increase safety on Facebook as we do with everything else.
We can fear Facebook or embrace it. I choose to embrace it.
-- Marjie Braun Knudsen
Facebook can make kids happier! Facebook is educational!
Yes, I said it. Now let me explain.
Thank you, Amy Wang, for an excellent blog post and bringing up the issue of kids on Facebook.
The comments and suggestions by Dr. Allan Cordova were right on target. I would like to share some of the positive aspects that I've found with my children using Facebook and other information I've found on this subject.
Social benefits
In the book "Happiness: Unlocking the Mysteries of Psychological Wealth" by Ed Diener and Robert Biswas-Diener (2008 Blackwell Publishing), there is a chapter titled "Happiness and Social Relationships: You Can't Do Without Them." They make a very good point about happiness and social relationships being a two-way street. And I love it that this book has scientific data to back up their assertions.
Facebook broadens our children's social circle in a way that wasn't quite possible before this technology. The two biggest aspects of this that I've noticed for my children are the ability to keep in touch with old friends and the opportunity to learn and practice their social skills.
My children tend to hang out with whomever they are on a sports team with at the time. They might meet a new friend whom they really connect with at a sports camp, but with distance and time constraints, it's not possible to keep that friendship going. Their friendships through the school years tend to grow and change, yet they still have those fond memories of "old friends."
When they run into an old friend, I see them become a little awkward, since they haven't seen or talked to the person in a long time. When I suggest having an old friend over to play, it's usually met with a comment about not having seen them for a long time and I can see the uncomfortable feelings come around at the thought of calling that friend on the phone. I am now seeing how Facebook is helping my 13-year-old to stay connected with his "old" friends and his "new."
Facebook can be especially good for shy kids -- any child -- to help build their social skills. I've seen the opportunity for learning and practicing social skills with my daughter. For her, those skills were first learned on MySpace when Facebook was not yet the mainstream.
Facebook creates a "less scary" scenario than talking on the phone or socializing in person. For example, the chat feature gives your child time to think when talking and expressing. Chatting is similar to a phone call, yet you have the time to pause and think about what you want to say. Phone calls can be awkward, with running out of things to say and dead air, and meeting in person can make you nervous for the same reasons.
Having some successful social interactions on Facebook could increase your child's confidence when socializing in person. It's a way to introduce new social skills in a gradual manner.
Developmental psychologist Jerome Kagan uses a good analogy in the article "How to Nurture a Shy Child," by Teri Keough. He states, "It's the same thing you would do if you were afraid of the ocean. First you put your toe in, then your foot, and so on. It's the elimination of an initial fear response - and it works."
Even if your child is not shy, aren't we all a little socially anxious at times? When a friend and I wrote a fiction book to help kids with social anxiety, the many people who said, "Aren't all kids socially anxious?" surprised me.
Although they may not have understood the true definition of social anxiety as a psychological disorder, they made a good point. All kids need the benefits of learning and using positive social skills.
I always thought in terms of our book being a "tool" in the arsenal of ideas to help shy kids feel confident. The book could help any child with her confidence, not just the shy ones.
I see that with Facebook, too. As adults, we benefit from having a wide social circle and many social connections. Facebook could offer that benefit to our kids.
Educational benefits
The educational aspects for Facebook are also amazing to me and I think they will only continue to grow. Teachers are creating challenging projects and collaborative learning opportunities for students. There are some wonderful examples in the article "Schools and Facebook: Moving Too Fast, or Not Fast Enough?" by Matt Levinson in Teachers.Net Gazette.
In Levinson's article, he writes, "One talented teacher cooked up an entire 20th-century China project on Facebook. Students adopted the personalities of Sun Yat-sen, Mao Zedong and Chiang Kai-shek and created and updated Facebook pages and profiles, replete with photos and wall postings. In the words of the teacher: 'This project changed the classroom. Students were so motivated and put far more hours into their research than they would have done with a traditional project.' "
My favorite paragraph of Cordova's advice in Wang's blog post was regarding a parent's concern. Wang wrote, "Once a parent knows what's bothering her, she can try to resolve those concerns while -- and Cordova stresses the importance of this -- 'still conveying respect for (the child's) desire and need to maintain social currency with her peer group.' "
Cordova makes an excellent point about Facebook being a social currency. It's the wave of the future and social currency for our kids.
It's important to note that our kids WANT to participate in this new technology. I like Cordova's point about conveying respect for the child's desire. I've seen with my kids that whenever I've shown them regard and consideration for something they are interested in, it seems to boost their morale in a way like nothing else.
I see so many wonderful opportunities on Facebook for children. It's like any new technology; we sometimes fear the unknown. And we also magnify the bad so that the good and wonderful ends up skewed and warped.
Sure, there will be abuses of the system. Aren't there always? You can find bullying and safety issues anywhere. We can work to eliminate bullying and increase safety on Facebook as we do with everything else.
We can fear Facebook or embrace it. I choose to embrace it.
-- Marjie Braun Knudsen
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